The Dire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman

Unmasking Abuse in the Digital Age – A Targeted Individual’s Guide to the Terminology of Targeted Harassment

• The Dire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Navigating the shadows of targeted harassment requires understanding the terminology that defines these experiences. In this milestone fifth episode, I create a comprehensive framework for recognizing and naming the tactics used against targeted individuals.

The digital age has transformed abuse into something more insidious than ever before. I meticulously break down the landscape of emotional and psychological manipulation, from gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) to the more technological aspects of cyber stalking and digital surveillance. These aren't just unwanted messages or creepy behavior—they represent systematic campaigns of monitoring, data extraction, and reputation destruction designed to isolate and destabilize targets.

What makes these forms of abuse particularly devastating is how they work together. A perpetrator might use spyware to gather personal information, create false narratives based on that information, then recruit others to participate in harassment through what I identify as "third-party grooming." Some attackers even stoop to using children as unwitting participants in subliminal harassment campaigns—a tactic I find particularly disturbing and unethical.

As a targeted individual experiencing these attacks on a global scale, I share not just definitions but spiritual reflections on finding strength during ongoing persecution. Through prayer and faith, I've found a framework for understanding these attacks not as random suffering but as evidence that I'm on a path the enemy wants to obstruct. "What the enemy meant for bad," I affirm, "God will turn into good."

Whether you're experiencing similar targeting or simply trying to understand this phenomenon, this episode provides the vocabulary needed to recognize these tactics and the reassurance that you're not alone. Subscribe to follow my journey of documenting these experiences and reclaiming my narrative despite sophisticated attempts to silence me.

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Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Hi, I'm Marie, Welcome back. This is episode five of season one of the Dire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman. This fifth episode is a definite milestone in my documentation journey. In this episode, I will continue with identifying terms that apply to what I've been experiencing as a targeted individual, as well as provide some definitions for these terms. Now, the reason I'm doing this is because I believe that one, it provides a foundation and a framework around understanding what occurs in a situation like the one I'm faced with. Two, it will put things into perspective as I go into more specific examples about my experience. Those who might be experiencing a similar situation or are basically trying to wrap their head around what exactly is going on, or merely trying to figure out what in the world am I talking about? Moreover, this is a very important topic, especially for those who feel targeted or are trying to make sense of a pattern of abuse. For this reason, I will be breaking down how cyber stalking, digital surveillance and smear campaigns work together to basically create a web of psychological and reputational harm of psychological and reputational harm. Now, the definitions will be broken down by category, starting with the first category, which is titled the landscape of abuse.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Within the landscape of abuse. You have emotional abuse, psychological abuse, psychological manipulation, microaggressions, subliminal harassment, sexual harassment, harassment and stalking. So what is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse essentially undermines the individual's self-worth through humiliation, manipulation and control. Emotional abuse is often invisible but deeply damaging. So that is what emotional abuse is. So it undermines the individual's self-worth through humiliation, manipulation and control, and it's often invisible but deeply damaging. Now looking at psychological abuse psychological abuse includes emotional abuse, but also isolation. It includes threats and also reality distortion. Psychological abuse is designed to destabilize and to dominate.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

The next word we want to look at is psychological manipulation. Under the umbrella of psychological manipulation, you have gaslighting and DARVO. Darvo gaslighting the perpetrator may deny that the they're actually surveilling the victim, or claim that the victim is paranoid or making them question their reality. Darvo is actually an acronym and it's a common tactic where the perpetrator first denies, then attacks and then they reverse the roles of the victim and offender, so this essentially paints themselves as the one that's being harassed. I actually recently experienced this and I will actually be going into more depth in the upcoming episodes.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Now we also have microaggressions. Microaggressions are subtle. They are often unconscious slights that communicate hostility, especially harmful when repeated or dismissed. You then have subliminal harassment, which is typically covert intimidation through coded language, gestures or environmental cues. As well as the subliminal harassments are typically hard to prove, but they're deeply unsettling. And then you have sexual harassment.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Sexual harassment is typically unwanted sex, sexual behavior or comments that create discomfort or fear. They can be verbal, physical or visual. Harassment, on the other hand, is basically the generic term, and that includes repeated unwanted behavior that causes distress and can be psychological, verbal and physical, as well as visual too. Harassment can be visual, as you know, the same way that sexual harassment can be visual, the generic term harassment can also be visual. There are visual ways that you can harass someone. Visual. There are visual ways that you can harass someone.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Stalking is persistent, unwanted attention that causes fear. I think you know stalking can cause a lot of different things, not just fear, but that is the definition that was provided. It often includes following, monitoring or obsessive contact. So now this brings me to our next segment. This segment will actually take a deep dive into cyber stalking and will explore surveillance as abuse and will cover the following terms Cyber stalking, cyber stalking as a weaponized form of surveillance, monitoring and extraction, smear campaigns. So let's dive in the first term we want to take a deep dive into is cyberstalking.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Cyberstalking includes digital surveillance, obsessive monitoring and online harassment. Monitoring and online harassment Often it's harder to escape and more invasive Cyber stalking as a weaponized form of surveillance. Cyber stalking isn't just about unwanted messages or creepy online behavior. It's often a systematic campaign of monitoring, data extraction campaign of monitoring data extraction, manipulation and distribution and oftentimes especially in my situation cyber-stalking also can turn into real-life stalking. So often the perpetrators will now leave their devices and actually come whether they come traveling on foot or in their vehicles to actually stalk and monitor the individual.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Within cyber stalking, I mentioned that there was monitoring and data extraction, so this includes what is called digital surveillance. This includes what is called digital surveillance and this is where perpetrators may use spyware, malware or even social engineering to gain access to your devices, accounts or browsing habits. They can use spyware, social media scraping, gps tracking and any other type of device. There are so many devices out there these days, so they also gather data to control, intimidate and manipulate. So if we were looking for an intent or a purpose, a motive behind their behavior, that's some of the motives that are behind you know the perpetrator's behavior. Social media scraping includes the collection of posts, photos, likes, comments, anything that can be twisted or used against the victim. There is also GPS tracking, where some stalkers go as far as embedding tracking devices in personal items.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Now, last but not least, there is the smear campaigns. Smear campaigns includes the sharing distorted or false information to destroy someone's reputation, and this may include fake accounts, impersonation and third-party grooming. Now let's take a look at how these tactics work together. I covered a few terms in the first few segments, so now let's take a look at how these actually work together. So, gaslighting um, as I mentioned before, was um is used to deny abuse and make victims question their sanity, and um, it's common in emotional, psychological and cyber abuse. You also have victim blaming, where you know the blame is shift and the responsibility is shift onto the victim, and this reinforces silence and shame. Now I spoke about DARVO earlier. Spoke about Darvo earlier and you know, just to kind of reiterate, this is a manipulative tactic used by perpetrators to deny the abuse, attack the victim's credibility and reverse roles to appear as the victim.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Now this brings us to the related terms that amplify the harm. These terms include technology, facilitated abuse, character assassination, third party grooming, and I would um, you know, I would go as far as calling this mind control and programming as well, right, um and again, uh, because I'm a very spiritual person. I think there's a natural aspect to this programming and grooming, but there's also a spiritual aspect as well, a form of bewitchment. Right, people are doing things that they don't even know why they're doing it. Right, it's not only because everyone else is doing it, so I'm doing it, or I have been programmed to do something, but there's a spiritual aspect to this. That is my belief. And there's also digital gaslighting. So let's look at how these work together to amplify the harm. So, technology facilitated abuse includes cyber stalking, doxing, revenge, porn or deep fakes and digital coercion.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Character assassination includes intentional destruction of reputation. Third party grooming includes manipulation or manipulating others to turn against the victim. So that's where I use, uh, the term programming or mind control, which could be, um, done naturally or spiritually. And then you have digital gaslighting, um, which is basically denying or manipulating online evidence to confuse the victim, or even someone that is looking into the situation or investigating the situation. Right, you know, they'll probably say, oh, nothing to see here, or, you know, we're not finding what you're seeing.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

So, while we spoke about smear campaigns in the earlier segment, this next segment delves into a little deeper into the tactics as well as the intent and impact of smear campaigns. So, essentially, a smear campaign is the public execution of someone's reputation, right? So once information is gathered, the next phase is the distribution and the distortion, sharing and manipulation. So sharing and manipulation includes false narratives, fake accounts and third-party grooming. So let's look at these terms more closely. False narratives include spreading lies, exaggerations or selectively editing truths to paint the victim as unstable, dangerous or immoral.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Fake accounts some may create impersonation profiles to post inflammatory content in the person's name Um, you know, especially because people are not trying to get caught out there. So you know, there might be a lot of people in group chats that are using fake names in um groups, uh, social media groups, that are using fake names. Some may be using real names but think that they can't be caught because they're using a VPN or some other form of device to try to shield their identity. But anything that is done online, anything that is done with technology, is discoverable at some point, as long as you just need to have the means to discover it. There is forensics, digital forensics and and digital discovery, so it's all discoverable, um, third party grooming um, this includes grooming others friends, colleagues, even strangers to believe uh the person's their version of events, isolating uh the person socially, and so, um, the grooming is again like.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

To me, that's a form of programming, mind control, and, um, while this could be done naturally, I think it can also be done spiritually to someone, and they may not even know that they're under some type of a spell and that they're. They're acting the way that they're acting because they're under a spell. So the intent and impact uh character assassination, uh reputational damage and social isolation, um, is could be an intent, but it can also be an impact, right, and so here the goal is to destroy the person's credibility, their relationships and opportunities. And then you have obstruction. Obstruction can include sabotage in job prospects, business opportunities, legal cases or community standing, among many other things. Right, this is just a few examples being provided here.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Next, you have emotional abuse, which is the psychological toll you know that the victim basically experiences. It becomes very immense, and victims often experience anxiety, depression, emotional trauma and PTSD. These are just some of the symptoms. Um, for me, um, as an individual, that is basically still kind of I don't want to say kind of, because it's very um prevalent Um I'm still uh experiencing um all of these things that I've gone through, all of these terms. Um, I don't believe I can have PTSD because I'm still going through it and so maybe at some point I'll have it. God forbid, um, you know, hopefully, through prayer and therapy, I won't have to experience PTSD, but I don't think at this juncture, um, I would um identify PTSD as a symptom for me, because I am still going through um these uh attacks. I am still going through these attacks.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

So, lastly, I want to take a look at how these related terms amplify the abuse. So these terms, which includes subliminal harassment, psychological abuse, victim blaming, technology, facilitated abuse can actually amplify harm to the victim. Subliminal harassment includes covert cues, coded language used to intimidate without overt threats, and so subliminal harassment could just be someone walking out of their house with an item or placing an item somewhere for you to see it, because they know it's going to trigger you in some way, and even if it doesn't trigger you, to trigger you in some way and even if it doesn't trigger you, it's just the nod to let you know that they're looking or that they know something. And so, um, that is what subliminal harassment is and, in my situation because, um, I have been speaking out, I have been going to the authorities, you know, I have been going making reports about it the attacks have shifted and so they're still subliminal. But there are different tactics that are being used. I mean, people are using their children actually to conduct the subliminal harassment which is sickening. That is very low, I think. If someone could go low, that is the lowest of lows. To use your child to actually harass someone, whether it's having certain words on a t-shirt or having your child walk out of the house with an object in their hands to try to cause a trigger, um, that is bad parenting. You are not setting a good example for your child. Your child is innocent. They have nothing to do with this. Uh, mess, um, now you have a psychological abuse, now the umbrella under which all of these tactics fall, um, and this is designed to basically control, isolate and, um, destabilize.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

There is victim blaming. Right, we spoke about DARVO earlier. Darvo, I believe, is a form of victim blaming and so, when others or the perpetrator suggests that you brought it on yourself, further silencing and invalidating your experience, right In one of my episodes I think it was the first one I spoke about. You know, people often want to have like a perfect victim right. And so if they try to go back and not even validating what they're saying is true or not, but if they try to say, well, we know this information about you, or we know that you did this or we know that about you, or we know that you did this or we know that about you, and so therefore you're um, you're liable, or therefore, um, you know you deserve what you get. Um, I think that is just not the right way to look at things. Um, regardless of whatever the person may have done, um, two wrongs don't make a right attacking someone, deliberately attacking someone on a daily basis, violating their privacy, hacking into their system, harassing them in um, all the different forms of harassment that are out there, um is just not right. And um, that is where victim blaming comes. You know, I've seen subliminal comments about okay, it's your fault, it's all your fault, and all of that kind of stuff.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Or people use the term karma, they throw that around. And what I would say to the people that like to throw the word karma around? If you believe in karma and you're doing what you're doing to me. May God have mercy on your soul, because if you're throwing the word karma around and you're doing this to me, may God have mercy on your soul. I believe in grace. I believe in grace. So grace says that you know the consequences, or sometimes he may absolve you altogether. But for those who are throwing the word around or the term around, karma, if that's what you believe in and that's what you subscribe to and you're actually harassing me, you're attacking me. May God have mercy on your soul because you're basically going, you're actually harassing me, you're attacking me. May God have mercy on your soul because you're basically going, you're calling these things onto yourself, you're doing it to me, you're attacking me and you believe in karma. So, guess what's going to happen to you. Guess what's going to happen to you and I'll I'll leave that right there. Um, and I'll leave that right there.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Technology-facilitated abuse is the next word, and that is a broader term that includes cyber-stalking, revenge, porn, doxing. It can include deep fakes and digital coercion. So, unfortunately, so unfortunately, I've experienced all of these terms in one way or another and, um, that's very unfortunate. It is very unfortunate and I, as I mentioned before, these attacks are happening on a global scale. They are happening in person, they are happening through technology and they're happening in different realms and different, through different, very convoluted and um and systematic attack.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

In the upcoming episodes I will be going through and providing some examples of my experience in more depth, um, but in closing, I just want to say that if this resonates with your experience, know that you're not alone and you're not imagining it. I'm not saying everyone that claims that they are targeted is in their right mind or is sane, but I can only attest to my experience and what I'm experiencing, and I'm praying for anyone else that may be going through something that is similar to me, even if it's not at the scale that I'm experiencing it. I pray for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Hopefully this can become a safe space for you and I'll continue to share my story. Um, I think it's very important to speak out, it's important to claim and reclaim your narrative and not let people shame you into seclusion or um oblivion and um, as I said before, I know that God has a perfect plan for me, um, and if he did it, I don't think I would be experiencing the level of attacks that I'm experiencing. Um Creflo Dollar said this in one of his sermons, and I'll close with this People often say, well, since I've been saved, you know, I haven't received any type of attacks from the enemy.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

And he said well, what kind of saved are you? If anything, things should have magnified or intensified, right, because now you have something that the enemy wants, or now he knows that you're kind of, you're headed in a direction that he doesn't want you to head into, headed in a direction that he doesn't want you to head into. So the objective of the enemy is to obstruct the progress of the destined state by any means necessary. And so now we have technology. So what better ways to obstruct someone's purpose, someone's calling, then through the use of technology, then through smearing their names, then through trying to ruin their reputation.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

But I thank God that through his word he says that what the enemy meant for bad, he will turn into good. And so I stand on that word and I trust God that, despite every attack that has come against me through technology or even through spiritual means, that it shall not prosper and that it shall not prosper and it shall not come to pass. And those things have that have already happened. I thank you, god, that your word says that it will work out for my good. I thank you, god, that I want to say that I am releasing every single person, every single agent, single person, every single agent, every single party that has been involved in attacking me. I release them in my forgiveness, the freedom of my forgiveness, and I release them to you, lord. I release them to you, father. May you deal with them according to however you feel fit. I release them to you, not my will, not my will, but your will be done. Your word says vengeance is yours, and so I release them in the freedom of my forgiveness. I release them to you. Your word says the battle is not mine, but it's yours.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

I thank you, lord God, that this too shall pass. I thank you, lord God, that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. I thank you, lord God, that your mercies are new every morning. I thank you, father, that in the midst of trouble, you give me peace that surpasses all understanding. And I thank you, father, that in the midst of trouble, you give me peace that surpasses all understanding. And I thank you, lord, god, that you have a greater purpose in all these attacks, lord God the attack on my name, the attack on my reputation, the attack on my well-being, the attack on my technology, the attack on my devices, the attack on my family, hallelujah, the attack on my opportunities. Father, I thank you, lord, that you have a greater purpose on it, lord God, that, although the enemy, the accuser of the brethren, thinks that they are getting away with this, lord God, hallelujah, you are Jehovah.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

Sneaky, lord God. Suddenly, suddenly, father, you will deliver me. Suddenly, father, you will deliver me. I thank you, lord God. Things may fall at my left or my right, it will not come nigh me. I thank you, lord God. Things may fall at my left or my right, it will not come nigh me.

Marie Destinee a La Grandeur:

I thank you, lord God, that you're not only covering me. Lord God, you're covering everything that I touch. Lord God, you're covering this docu-series, you're covering this documentary. Lord God, you're protecting it from any hacker, any person that will try to manipulate the algorithm, anyone that will try to suppress my voice. Father, I thank you, lord God, that it will not work, it will not prosper. I praise your holy name. I praise your holy name. I praise your holy name, in Jesus's name. Thank you everyone for listening. I just want to say that the terms and definitions that were used in this podcast were facilitated with the use of AI and it was sourced from unodcorg, psychologytodaycom and stalkingawarenessorg. Thank you, and stalkingawarenessorg, thank you. I went into praying. This was just not planned, but that's how God works and it is what it is. This is my diary. It's raw and it's just me sharing bits and pieces of who I am and just going with the flow. All right, thank you for listening. See you in the next episode. Be safe, thank you.